The true face of Lordi

[Piously Aligned]

As you may have heard, a very santaic Finnish rock group Lordi has just won the Holy Eurovision Pop Song Contest. Children are turning into zombies as we speak everywhere in Europe and especially in Greece where the event took place!

Lordi wears so heavy makeup they are unrecognisable without it and nobody has ever seen them unmasked anywhere. They even shop with their masks on!



Lordi often claims they are not wearing any masks, but I'm not falling for that! Some guy called Tomi Putaansuu has claimed to be the lead singer, also known as Mr. Lordi, but in all his pictures Putaansuu looks way too nerdy to have anything to do with this band. So, how are the band members able to move from place to place without ever being seen unmasked? The truth is simple. The band members are not humans at all, but in fact evil spirits (sometimes called wraiths). To put this in layman terms: once you have peeled off all those layers of clothing and makeup, there's nothing inside! You heard it from me first.



All that was good and holy among the Greeks has been wiped away, leaving no trace. The ancient society is dwindling, cracking and falling apart. Its children are all in process of being converted into dark acolytes of Lordi. Dogs and cats are living together. There is mass hysteria. This monster band has left Greece in ruins!



Our prime minister Matti Vanhanen should issue a public apology on behalf of the nation, but that is unlikely as he is a member of a feared subgroup of santaists known as the Teetotalists of the Illuminati!



Below are some santaic facts about Lordi.

Lordi predicted their victory of the Eurovision Song Contest:

On the day of Rockoning
It's who dares, wins
You will see the jokers soon'll be the new kings

(As you all know, the day of rockoning is the day rock fans get counted by a phone vote.)

The number of the Beast is 292. (I will need to reinterpret my Bible so it supports this.*) Lordi won by getting 292 points in both the semi-final and the final!

* It's actually very easy. See, ∞ is infinity. When you multiply ∞ by the Holy Trinity, you get 888. The false number of the Beast is 616. Now, you can only be saved by 1 and that is Jesus, so 1 or in this case 10 goes up and is added to 888 while everything else goes down and is substracted from it.

888 + 10 - 606 = 292 Q.E.D.

(By the way, what's the mathematical symbol of the Holy Trinity?)

[Vanhis]

Lordi is santaic! Heil Niilo and his True Christian Correct Opinions!

EDIT: Btw, the Wraith icon from Wesnoth is great

[SwordOfNight]

As you may have heard, a very santaic Finnish rock group Lordi has just won the Holy Eurovision Pop Song Contest. Children are turning into zombies as we speak everywhere in Europe and especially in Greece where the event took place!

Lordi wears so heavy makeup they are unrecognisable without it and nobody has ever seen them unmasked anywhere. They even shop with their masks on!



Lordi often claims they are not wearing any masks, but I'm not falling for that! Some guy called Tomi Putaansuu has claimed to be the lead singer, also known as Mr. Lordi, but in all his pictures Putaansuu looks way too nerdy to have anything to do with this band. So, how are the band members able to move from place to place without ever being seen unmasked? The truth is simple. The band members are not humans at all, but in fact evil spirits (sometimes called wraiths). To put this in layman terms: once you have peeled off all those layers of clothing and makeup, there's nothing inside! You heard it from me first.



All that was good and holy among the Greeks has been wiped away, leaving no trace. The ancient society is dwindling, cracking and falling apart. Its children are all in process of being converted into dark acolytes of Lordi. Dogs and cats are living together. There is mass hysteria. This monster band has left Greece in ruins!



Our prime minister Matti Vanhanen should issue a public apology on behalf of the nation, but that is unlikely as he is a member of a feared subgroup of santaists known as the Teetotalists of the Illuminati!



Below are some santaic facts about Lordi.

Lordi predicted their victory of the Eurovision Song Contest:

On the day of Rockoning
It's who dares, wins
You will see the jokers soon'll be the new kings

(As you all know, the day of rockoning is the day rock fans get counted by a phone vote.)

The number of the Beast is 292. (I will need to reinterpret my Bible so it supports this.*) Lordi won by getting 292 points in both the semi-final and the final!

* It's actually very easy. See, ∞ is infinity. When you multiply ∞ by the Holy Trinity, you get 888. The false number of the Beast is 616. Now, you can only be saved by 1 and that is Jesus, so 1 or in this case 10 goes up and is added to 888 while everything else goes down and is substracted from it.

888 + 10 - 606 = 292 Q.E.D.

(By the way, what's the mathematical symbol of the Holy Trinity?)

Sigh

Infinity times by any number is still infinity.  Not 888.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.

and King James Bible says:

Revelations 13:18: "Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six."

So could you explain where you got 616 from?

[Niilo Paasivirta]

So could you explain where you got 616 from?

Didn't you notice that he said false number of the beast? It's a new false number that was "discovered" by "scientists" (the Bible says the number is 666).

Archeologists found some fragmentary papyrus they claimed was from Revelation and gave number 616 instead of 666. Search some news archives and you find more information.

The purpose for inventing a false number of the beast obviously makes it a devilish number, since it is a lie and a falsehood - very typical for atheist scientists. (There are True Christian scientists as well - not to be confused with a heretical cult called "Christian Science"!)

[SwordOfNight]

Even so but the formulea put forward by Piously Aligned is still fundamentally flawed.

[Piously Aligned]

Infinity times by any number is still infinity.

He's not a number. He's a free Trinity.

[Sipri]

You know, Lordi's own website claims that mr.Lord (the leadsinger) is  Unholy overlord of Tremors, Biomechanic man, Bastard son of thousand mechalomanics, and lots of other thing, Kita (drummer) is extra-terrestial man beast and soldier orc, Amen (quitarplayer) is Ancient assassin and Buried living dead, Awa (keybord player) is Possessed sorcerer and ghost witch and finally bassplayer OX (who's costume rocks!!!) is called Horn Bull and Smashquatch.

[Ellam Wideblade]

I doubt ANY Finnish Death Metal band can beat Disturbed or Atreyu....BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

[Sipri]

Heck Lordi isn't death metal!
It is only Hard rock. If you wan't Death Metal listen to the Disturbed as you said!

[American Girl]

Heck Lordi isn't death metal!
It is only Hard rock. If you wan't Death Metal listen to the Disturbed as you said!

Disturbed is a good band.

[Veli Joosef]

Heck Lordi isn't death metal!
It is only Hard rock. If you wan't Death Metal listen to the Disturbed as you said!

Rock music and death metal are both SINFUL! Burn your rock-CD's and come to The Light of Jesus! Then you'll be saved in the Judgement day (The Day of Reckoning, NOT Rockaning)!

[Tuskiainen]

Heck Lordi isn't death metal!
It is only Hard rock. If you wan't Death Metal listen to the Disturbed as you said!

Disturbed is a good band.

i dont knov vhy someone vut like to pee distyrped? juu relli vantto serve joulupukki or vant to see NIilos truut

NIilolujaa!!!!!

[Anonymous Bastard]

To put this in layman terms: once you have peeled off all those layers of clothing and makeup, there's nothing inside! You heard it from me first.

You are so right you know.
Lordi was invited at the President's Castle for the independence day memorial festivities. But he was especially forbidden to wear a mask there. Now it happens that the evening-newspapers are accusing Lordi's wife showing up alone as avec. Normally these newspapers are very reliable and right-minded, but now they missed the fact that Lordi was indeed present at the Castle, but not wearing the mask, so he was invisible!

[American Girl]

Heck Lordi isn't death metal!
It is only Hard rock. If you wan't Death Metal listen to the Disturbed as you said!

Disturbed is a good band.

i dont knov vhy someone vut like to pee distyrped? juu relli vantto serve joulupukki or vant to see NIilos truut

NIilolujaa!!!!!

Why would you want to set yourself on fire? Judging by your avatar, you must want to set yourself on fire pretty bad.

[Tuskiainen]

Heck Lordi isn't death metal!
It is only Hard rock. If you wan't Death Metal listen to the Disturbed as you said!

Disturbed is a good band.

i dont knov vhy someone vut like to pee distyrped? juu relli vantto serve joulupukki or vant to see NIilos truut

NIilolujaa!!!!!

Why would you want to set yourself on fire? Judging by your avatar, you must want to set yourself on fire pretty bad.

vehere have ai seed that i vant to set mysel on fire?
that is juu, kos juu vantto to kotu HELL ja purn!!

NIlolujaa!!!!!